Now what?
Saturday dawned, or maybe it just came around, with no one really noticing a sunrise. Grief sat heavy upon the disciples. It sat heavy upon God Himself, for the part of His nature that was the Father was grieving the death of the part of Himself that was the Son. Even knowledge of His plan, and of His pending resurrection likely could not remove the pain of loss He felt in the separation from His Son. Before the joy of Resurrection there was the sorrow of Saturday, even for God.
I forget that I have to go through Saturdays.
The losses for me are by no means on the scale of His loss; mine are infinitesimally smaller. Yet, for a small, simple, broken human, they are still losses. The cry to God over the loss of career goals and hitting a ceiling before I wanted to. The long dark hours of pain from the loss of a marriage, and later the loss of a relationship with my child. This weekend, this Saturday, I was mourning the loss of a relationship I struggled to understand and to make work, one that brought great happiness and great hurt at the same time.
I know that I face nothing that God hasn't faced. We talk about the temptations that Jesus faced in the desert, but we don't examine the losses as much. A Father separated from His children. The loss of His plans because of our sin. The pain of a Saturday that must be endured before the fullness of time has come to roll away a stone. And unlike Thomas, I don't get to see the Lord, to hold Him. I have to draw strength from His words ("Blessed are those who believe without seeing me" John 20:29) and believe that the Sunday will follow....and the joy.
Lord, help me to believe.
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