Everyday bushes

I was taking a walk this fall, enjoying one of the great days we had this past season.  I love the fall, with the feel of the air and the colors of the trees.  The street I was on happened to be lined with maples, so that as last in the season as it was, they were ablaze in reds, oranges, golds, and shades of each of those that I had no names for.  I was thinking of them allegorically, wondering what poem I could create about them and the blaze of colors that I saw, when it hit me.

Burning bush.

My burning bushes were trees.  Or maybe more accurately the trees were my burning bushes.

The point of the burning bush was not to just prove God's power, although it did that.  The point was to get Moses's attention and have him meet and connect with the Great I AM (Exodus 3:3 So Moses thought, “I will go over and see this strange sight—why the bush does not burn up").  Maybe the bush wasn't really on fire, maybe it just looked that way.  Maybe it was just colorful, maybe it was full of colorful birds, or fruit, or it was the play of water across it.  The point was to get Moses over to it so the Almighty God could speak to him.  

So perhaps these trees were to remind me of God.  To get me to consider His creation and His goodness in giving beauty.  To explore, as Paul says in the letter to the Romans, the signs and wonders in the world that display God's existence (Romans 1:20).  It worked that day, for my thoughts turned to the Lord for the rest of the walk.

How many every day burning bushes do I see, and fail to see, that could turn me to see God?  Lord, may I be aware of those things in the world around me that remind me of You; may I be reminded of You in all the things in the world around me, that I may learn to be closer to You.

Questioning heart

Over the course of years, I have found that different versions of the Bible have the ability, through their choice of words or the structure of those words, to impact me in new or challenging ways.  It is the variation in how a thought or phrase is worded that can impact me at different times in my life.

The section in Mark 2 is one that hit me one morning recently at church.  It is even possible that I didn't initially hear it correctly, but heard it with a God-directed ear. 

"Why do you question these things in your heart?"

It's a bring-me-up-short question.  I don't want to be a Pharisee.  They could see and hear first had the Word of God made flesh, and yet were unwilling to see Him as He was, and to see Him for who He was.  They were so wrapped up in their legalistic, hypocritical, self-important world of self-justification that this missed God's Word dwelling among them.  And I wonder if I do any better?  Am I missing Him because of my own self-regulating nature, a fear of letting go and trusting Him?  Am I questioning because I am seeking or because I am trying to escape Him (as though you could flee from a God who finds you wherever you are ....Psalm 139:7-12)?

On the other hand, I hear acceptance of honest questioning.  Nicodemus questioned, and it was fine (John 3).  Nathaniel questioned  (John 1:45-49) but believed and accepted the Living Truth.  Thomas doubted and Jesus reached out to him (John 20).  So I 'hear' that questions and questioning are acceptable.  Or at least they are until they become so stubborn that they cause the mind to choke off the heart (Matt 13:22) and blind the eyes, as happened to the Pharisees.

I even question sometimes why it is that I want to believe.  Do I really want Jesus to be my Christ and Lord and light of my life?  Or do I want to believe and hope that He will provide a human helpmate to me?  Do I love HIM, or do I just not want the heartache of not being special to anyone anymore?

Regardless, my prayers these days are just Jesus take my will and my life, to be the love of my life, and let me desire to draw ever closer to you.
Amen.

Evidence

It's interesting how three holes can remind me of a broken and sinful nature, both my own and all of mankind.

The three holes are found in a concrete slab along the path of my daily (I wish it were daily, but ....not in this weather) walks.  They are the mounting holes for a relocatable traffic camera that is within a half block of an elementary school along a crowded and bustling residential street.
The thought came to me as I was walking by it...."I could do X and render it useless for the cameras" What?

WHAT??

WHERE did THAT come from??

I'm (generally) a law abiding, rules following person. Viewed (to use a phrase from a favorite movie, Guys and Dolls) as an upright, forthright square.  And yet, there is this vestige remnant that puts the idea in me to be a vandal.  I've never thought about destroying a stop sign, or a street lamp, or a mailbox.  So....why this?  If you ask me about the need for speed cameras along this street, I'd say yes they are needed; people travel way too fast along this route, even with children outside.

I don't know why the thought came to me to deface that foundation, but it DOES effectively remind me that all humans are fallen creatures...all have sinned (Rom 3:23), there is none righteous, no not one (Rom. 3:10).  For we all have rejected God, regardless of how good we think we are.  Our hearts are wicked and deceitful, who can know it? (Jer 17:9)

So now, I have my own visual reminder that no matter how good I pretend to be, how forthright I think I am, there are still seeds from a bad apple in me, just wanting to burst forth.

Knocking on the door, Rattlin at the Gates

Another long walk (I walk a lot), another faith image that comes to mind (I think a lot during my walks).

"Behold, I stand at the door and knock...."  It's from Revelation 3:20, and within evangelical circles is famous for describing how Jesus seeks to enter the heart of all who seek Him and all who cry out to Him, so that all who call on Him, who ask Him into their lives, may be saved.  Yet, God will not force us into belief, it is a decision for us to make based on our will.  We are not automatons, and while He could have made us perfect, it would have required a loss of our will.  I've heard it described that God is a gentleman and would not force Himself onto us, He must be invited in to our lives.

I feel at times that more than Him standing at the door of my heart and knocking, that at times I stand at the Lord's gates, looking in. Or maybe sometimes it feels like I'm standing and shaking the fence and gates, trying to get in.  Taking the handle and frantically and repeatedly pulling on it in the same desperate way the kids in slasher movies are trying to open a door to escape the killer.  I want in, want safety, shelter, sanctuary.  I know there is a killer after me.  I know what a "killer" life is , know that it and its henchmen are after me.  So I know I need, and want, God in my life.

I wonder sometimes if I'm slow to see the door open to let Him in.  Or perhaps I am not inviting enough to Him.  Sort of like my ex is, when I she stands inside the house and opens the door but stands as a human barricade to keep it from opening too far, or allowing me too much opportunity to enter.  Am I like that with God?  I want to surrender my will and my life to God.  I've prayed.  I've repented,  I've fallen.  I've gotten up again.

Rinse, lather, repeat.

I think I expect, or maybe better yet I hope for, a mountain top experience (like Elijah in 1Kings 19, or the apostles with Jesus in Matthew 17).  To have one of those moments where the heavens open up and a dove descends (Mark 1). (Okay, a bit over the top but it drives home a point).  Maybe the Lord has responded and has made His way in to my life and is making Himself at home. Maybe He's already /still here working on the defects in my life/home.

Defects?  Oh yes -- faulty wiring, hazardous materials, maybe even an unsafe foundation.  I think maybe it's not so much unsafe as settling (do you think? ;)

Maybe I'm turned around and am already on the right side of the gates.  Maybe my compassion for others, my engaging the LORD in prayer and discussion, my yearning to fill the voids Pascal references inside of me with Him and not other things.....maybe this is evidence I'm on the right side of the fence after all.

Now that's a nice thought :)